Emotional Boundaries: Who’s in Charge? (Part 2)

(First read Mental Boundaries: Who’s in Charge?–Part 1)

 Are you tired of feeling the same defeatist way about your writing?

Are you ready for something new?

 2. Attitudes

Changing your thoughts will change your mental attitudes and emotional feelings about writing. Even so, there will be times throughout the day when you will be faced with negative feelings flooding you.

Do you let the disgruntled feelings in–maybe even entertain them? Or do you choose to throw them out and lock the door? Do you set appropriate emotional boundaries so you can work? 

Instead of postponing happiness until you get published, choose to be content with your writing today.

  • Choose to enjoy the act of putting words down on paper to capture an image.
  • Choose to enjoy delving into your memories for a kernel of a story idea.
  • Choose to enjoy the process of reading back issues of magazines you want to submit to.
  • Choose to enjoy reading a book on plot or dialogue or characterization for tips you can apply to your stories.
  • Choose to be patient with your learning curve and refuse the pressure to succeed quickly.
  • Choose to be happy about each small, steady step forward.

Look at the larger picture, how each writing day is another small building block laying the foundation of your career. Stay present in the present! Pace yourself with the determined attitude of the tortoise instead of the sprinter attitude of the hare.

Commitment Versus Wishing

You also need to choose an attitude of commitment. Commit to your goals and deadlines, to continued improvement in your writing, and to dealing with negative feelings as they come up.

Commitment is more than “I wish” or “I’d like” or “I hope I can.” Commitment is “I will.” There is a huge difference! (Like the gap between a man saying, “Gee, I’d like to marry you” and “Will you marry me–here’s the ring–let’s set a date!”)

Move from the wishy-washy attitude of “I’d like to be a writer” to the commitment level of “I’ll do whatever it takes for as long as it takes to be a successful writer.” [I understand that choosing your own attitudes and emotions can be difficult. If you have trouble taking charge of your emotions, you might find my "Boundaries for Writers" e-book helpful.]

(Part 3 about choices will be “Your Writing: Who’s in Charge?”)

As I mentioned before, I’ve been working hard myself to improve habits in all areas of my life, including the writing. In the last year, I’ve found these books especially helpful.

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