Restoring Balance

Each person has his or her own set of priorities.

However, remember that time is finite. It can’t be stretched, saved, or borrowed.

The time devoted to things must be balanced.

If we give too much in one area we neglect our duty in another important area. 

Restore Balance Now

Here are Richard Swenson’s suggestions for restoring balance from his book, Margin.

First, you must cultivate the ability to say no. “In life, as in the buffet, our plates fill up sooner than we realize. In attempting to be sociable we try to accommodate everyone’s invitations. In attempting to be good parents we try to give our children more opportunities than we had. In attempting to be compassionate, we want to help with everyone’s problems.” Sometimes you will have to say no, even to some very good things.

Second, you must gain control over your own life. Sometimes your life and time are ruled by other people’s demands or crises. Sometimes your life is ruled by your own out-of-control behavior. Do what is necessary to regain control over your life.

Third, beware of trying to solve the problem of imbalance by becoming even more imbalanced. A doctor warned his patients that we tend to respond to our sense of imbalance by committing more time and energy to the area in which we feel deficient. But if you are already maxed out in time and energy, you can’t give added attention to one area unless you subtract from another area. (That sounds like common sense, but it’s still the mistake I usually make.)

Fourth, accept the no given to you by others. Give others the freedom to find balance in their own lives. Don’t put your expectations on other people.

Margin and Writing

In case anyone thinks I’ve lost the point of this blog–first aid for writers–I haven’t. These issues of finding margin (while maintaining your mental and emotional and relational health) have been the biggest struggles of my writing life for thirty years. Few of us are raised by mental health professionals or counselors, so we come to some of these principles later in life. But if you want to have a healthy writing career as well as a healthy life, these ideas will help you get there.

I’ve barely skimmed the surface of the ideas, suggestions, and life-changing advice in Richard Swenson’s book, Margin. I hope you will find a copy for yourself. This is one book I would have dearly loved to have about twenty-five years ago. And if you need specific help with boundaries as a writer, see my Boundaries for Writers.

 

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2 Responses to Restoring Balance

  1. Megan Vance says:

    Hi Kristi,

    I have had that book for a long time. Made sense way back when and even more now. Yes, much more indeed.
    Thank you for the reminder.
    Megan

    • kwpadmin says:

      Megan, isn’t it funny how we have to be “reminded” of what we already know? I do too. At least when I’m re-reading a book, I only have to read the underlined parts! :-)

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